Love That Wasn’t Allowed..!!

It was the night of 24th of August, 2012. The digital clock flashed 10:47 p.m. My LG cell-phone rang and broke into my deep sleep slumber (Androids or Iphones didn’t exist in my life then). An unsaved number flashed on the screen. In a haste to avoid waking up everyone in my home, I rushed to pick up the call. A sweet feminine voice said, hushing “Hello, is this Ayush?” I couldn’t recognize the voice but since it was a girl with a lovely voice that had me in its ‘hello’, I said “yes but who are you and how do you know my name.” All the questions had made my sleep disappear. She said “I am Nisha.” I had heard that name being whispered between my uncle, aunty and other elders of my family. I had started to make some sense of the whispers between my family members. It was about the love affair of my cousin brother who was 27 and was next in line to get married. It was all coming back to me. Amidst my thoughts talking to me, she whispered again “Are you there?” Coming back from my thoughts, I whispered too “yes, say naa.” Within few minutes, she explained me who she was and the reason for calling me.

I hailed from a middle class maheshwari family background which, in other words, meant love and inter-caste marriages don’t happen in my family. Completing the picture, my cousin’s family and my family didn’t agree to them getting married. It had gotten pretty late in listening and comprehending the situation. She cried in between and with my petty jokes, I tried to make her smile. I bid her goodnight and promised her to call her next morning. Few hours later, I lay still in my bed going over the conversation again and again and smiling to myself listening to rain.


Next morning, I woke up early and got ready before everyone (even though I never was and never will be an-early-morning person). I opened my books as I had my CA exams coming in first week of May, 2013. My eyes, fixed on my cell-phone, were eagerly waiting for the call that had kept me awake last night. At 11:15 a.m., the phone rang and I secretly wished it was her. IT WAS HER on the phone with her sweet ‘Hello’ making me remember last night. I was so intrigued by her voice and we were on the call for over two hours talking about my family, my cousin’s family, her likes and dislikes and my likes and dislikes and when the battery started to heat and burn my ears, we hung up. I started writing a poem for her. I didn’t know how she looked or smiled. It was her voice that I wanted to hear again and again. I picked up my diary and pencil and wrote this:

With my books open in front,

And the pencils kept blunt.


I gaze at the clouds outside the window,

Searching and waiting for a familiar shadow.


There she was in a different state,

Wanting to be forever,

With her soul-mate.


Somewhere in a dark corner of my heart,

An unknown person had made her path.


Laughing with her didn’t feel inaccurate,

Knowing someday,

She will be his life-mate.


I typed the poem and sent her as an SMS and waited impatiently for her reply. A sudden ping made me anxious. It was her SMS “I loved the poem. It is so good..!” I replied “I wrote that for you. Glad you liked it.”




This was a start to a love story that wasn’t allowed and was kept hidden in the pages of a diary. She never said or felt it. I never felt that it shouldn’t have started at the first place. People say love makes us a better person. I say it’s true. Without her, I wouldn’t be where I am. Love brings the peace among the fierce waves in our lives. It brings in the candle that lightens up the deep corners of our heart. Being a partner at a big Chartered Accountant firm is what she made me. I promised her on one of our calls “I’ll be CA one day and it’ll be for you.” She will always be there in my heart and life. I will always cherish her.



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Published by BeginningToWrite

26, just a CA trying to write his mind. ☺️☺️ Not a professional one though..

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